Cross My Heart
by VampireGleekxx
Summary: When Tanya goes for her first treatment, she meets a lovely young nurse. But, after they open up to each other, Tanya figures out something. That Hannah Peters, the lovely young nurse, is actually the Elle, baby she gave up for adoption 21 years ago.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **_When Tanya goes for her first treatment, she meets a lovely young nurse. But, after they open up to each other, Tanya figures out that there is a whole lot more there that meets the eye. That Hannah, the lovely young nurse, is actually the baby she gave up for adoption 21 years ago.__  
_

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Eastenders or anything else that is Public Domain in this fanfiction. The only thing I own is Hannah, at the minute._

**Authors Note: Yes! I know Tanya never had a baby before Lauren. This is a fanfiction I came up with after watching whats going on now with the whole Ava thing. Hannah is my own original character. **_  
_

* * *

**Chapter One**

Tanya sat nervously beside Lauren in the Hospital waiting room. Lauren was the only person in her family that knew about her cancer. She hadn't told anyone else beside her 17-year-old daughter. She flicked through the widely outdated magazine left on the table, awaiting her name to be called. She couldn't stand the knot in her stomach that was building. She didn't want to admit to Lauren that she was nervous and scared about started her Radio and Chemo Therapy today. She didn't want to worry her.

"Tanya Jessop" The young nurse called from the reception area, clip board in hand. She looked to be in her early twenties, just out of Uni. Her blonde hair was tied back into a ponytail with a braid holding back her long side fringe.

"That was quick" Tanya said putting down the magazine where she found it "Was just getting into Katie and Peters dream wedding"

"I'll take you down to the Radiotherapy room now" The nurse smiled waiting for Tanya to join her.

"Bring it on" Tanya said, putting on a fake smile and following the nurse down the hallway.

"Is that your daughter?" The young nurse questioned, keeping a welcoming and calming smile on her face as she walked along side the blonde.

"Yeah" Tanya said playing with her hands nervously "That's Lauren"

"Lovely name" She said turning and opening a door "It's just in here"

"Right" Tanya said, breathing heavily. The nurse, from what Tanya could see on her name tag, was called Hannah Peters.

"You can take a seat for a moment while we set it up" Hannah said gesturing to the seat, while going over to the nurse standing on the opposite side of the machine.

"I'm alright" Tanya said, Hannah just smiled at her before assisting the nurse in setting it up. Tanya opened her mouth a couple of times, but no words could escape. Finally she was able to talk "A-Am I going to lose my hair or anything, from this?"

"Oh, it's just a common misconception" Hannah said "Don't worry, everyone asks the same questions, so don't be afraid to speak up"

"I mean, I'm not vain. It's just I run a beauty salon and so, I'm like a walking advert" Tanya said nervously "Some people suit being bald, don't they? I've got a funny shaped head, so"

"Don't worry, the radio therapy isn't going anywhere near your head" Hannah explained as nicely as she can. She'd only been working in the hospital for two months, and she knew a lot of the people who had come were nervous about the treatment. She still was getting used to dealing with it all "But, the chemotherapy you're having can cause a bit of hair thinning. But, don't worry. It shouldn't be too extensive"

"Thinning, right" Tanya said, nodding her head.

"Alright, so if you'll just hop up, we'll be able to start" Hannah said moving out-of-the-way. Tanya hesitated for a few moments before going over and slowly sitting up on the table. Hannah could see the woman was very nervous about starting it, and tried to reassure her "It's alright to be nervous. If you want to take a minute or two, it should be fine"

"No, I'm fine" Tanya said laying down ready to start. As the table was wheeled under a large machine, Tanya tried to relax, but the large knot in her stomach was still there.

"We usually just put on some music to help you relax. I'm just going to be the control room. We can still talk to each other, if you want to" Hannah said giving Tanya a reassuring smile "And we can stop the machine at any time. Just wave your hand, okay?"

"Yeah" Tanya said before the nurses turned and went out of the room. Hannah and the other nurse, Julie, entered the control room, where they could still see her on a monitor. The music played on, songs changing every few minutes. Tanya smiled when Barbie Girl by Aqua came on over the speakers "This was my little boys favorite when he was a baby"

"What age is he now?" Hannah asked.

"He'll be four soon" Tanya said "Scary how quickly they grow up. It seems like yesterday Lauren was his age. She's 17 now, and Abi, my other daughter, is 15"

"My youngest brother is 15" Hannah said

"You've brothers?" Tanya asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing.

"Yeah, three younger brothers" Hannah explained, laughing slighty "Danny's 20, Alex is 18 and Jack is 15"

"That must have been a nightmare when you were little?" Tanya asked

"It kind of was. But, I love them to bits, so" Hannah smiled. Her family was pretty much broken up now. She moved out when she started Uni. Danny lives in Australia. Alex just started to Uni in Manchester, and Jack was still living at home with her mum and dad.

"How long is left, anyway?" Tanya asked curiously.

"You'll be out in just over 5 minutes" Hannah said

"That was quick" Tanya chuckled, knowing that most of this part of her treatment was almost finished.

"Yeah, the music really helps" Hannah said "It makes it seem a lot shorter than it actually is"

"Yeah" Tanya agreed. Before she knew it, she was off the table and being lead back to the waiting room, where Lauren was waiting.

"See, that wasn't too bad" Hannah said "You can wait here for a bit, before you have to go onto your next round"

"Thanks" Tanya said before going down and sitting beside her daughter.

"She seems nice" Lauren said, eyeing the nurse as she walked away. She couldn't help but crunch up her nose at the frumpy scrub outfit they were forced to wear. You could tell the young woman had a good figure, but it was hidden under the baggy clothing.

"Yeah, she is" Tanya said. She liked that nurse was very reassuring, and knew she could have been stuck with someone worse.

"So, how was it?" Lauren asked

"Yeah, it was good" Tanya nodded, thankful that it was halfway done already "You'll never guess what song came on thought"

* * *

Hannah was glad to see her lunch break come. She'd been on her feet since the start of her shift at 8am. Although she still loved doing what she doing (she wasn't one of them ones who hated her job...yet). She did find it to be very tiring. As she walked down the hall, where she noticed a familiar face from earlier, down at the end of it.

"Tanya?" She questioned approaching the confused and scared looking Blonde "You alright? Shouldn't you be in having your chemo now?"

"Y-yeah, it's just-" Tanya said, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's scary?" Hannah asked.

"What would you know? You're too young to know what it's like?" Tanya asked, snapping at the young nurse "And you're just a student nurse, you haven't even graduated yet, so you can't say you know everything yet, because you don't"

"You're right" Hannah said "But, I know you're scared"

"How?" Tanya asked

"Because my Mum had cancer too" Hannah said taking Tanya by surprised "She never admit it but I knew she was scared" Tanya didn't know how to respond to the young woman opening up "I was just going for my break, if you want to go for a walk?"

"Yeah, sure" Tanya agreed and walked along side the student nurse.

"It's alright to be scared too" Hannah said trying to reassure her "But, look at it, you caught it early which means that it's not that severe. The same thing happened to my mum and she's fine now"

"How long ago did she have it?" Tanya asked

"Um, I was 13 then, so that was 8 year ago now" Hannah explained. Tanya sighed remembering looking after her cancer striken father at that age aswell "I was the same as your daughter. I went to all the appointments and everything. Mostly because dad was too busy with work to go and I didn't want her going on her own. That's why I went into nursing and everything. Because of what my mum went through, and everything"

"They must be happy" Tanya said

"Yeah, mum and dad were dead proud when I got into City University" Hannah smiled "Mum went around to all the neighbours with the acceptable letter telling them all. I was so embarrassed, but she didn't care. She was far to excited"

"She sound lovely" Tanya chuckled.

"Yeah. She amazing" Hannah said smiling "She never treated me any different or nothing"

"Why should she?" Tanya asked.

"Because I'm adopted" Hannah said after a moments hesitation. Tanya's eyebrows moved upwards at the revelation "Yeah, well Mum and Dad were told they couldn't have kids. So they adopted me when I was just a newborn. Then a few months later, Mum got pregnant with Danny. Then Alex. Then Jack. They actually decided to stop because they thought they were pushing their luck having any more"

"Do you know anything about you real family?" Tanya asked her after they had stopped laughing a little. Hannah shook her head.

"Nah, not much" Hannah said "All I knew was my real mum was a teenager. Not like 17 or 18, but like early teens and not ready to be a mum. I don't even know her name or anything about her. I don't even know anything about my real dad. She never mentioned him when she met with mum and dad"

"They're bound to have this stuff on record somewhere" Tanya said "You could track her down and everything"

"Nah. I might someday though" Hannah said "Now, I'm just going to focus on finishing Uni for the time being. And I'm rambling on about me. You should be getting back"

"I know" Tanya said looking back down the hall that they walked.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine" Hannah reassured her "I'll see you next time"

* * *

**So, what do you think? Good? Bad? ...Terrible? Please let me know. I'd like to know if I should continue it or not. **

**_Coming Up in Chapter Two:_  
**

**Tanya stops her treatment!**

**Not before putting everything together!**

**But, will she confess all to Hannah?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **_When Tanya goes for her first treatment, she meets a lovely young nurse. But, after they open up to each other, Tanya figures out that there is a whole lot more there that meets the eye. That Hannah, the lovely young nurse, is actually the baby she gave up for adoption 21 years ago.__  
_

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Eastenders or anything else that is Public Domain in this fanfiction. The only thing I own is Hannah, at the minute._

**Authors Note: Yes! I know Tanya never had a baby before Lauren. This is a fanfiction I came up with after watching whats going on now with the whole Ava thing. Hannah is my own original character. **_  
_

* * *

**Chapter Two**

The months went by and Tanya continued with her treatment. Her and Hannah grew to be good friends over the course of her treatment. Her lunch break usually fell around the time she was in, so she'd go over and have a chat before grabbing something to eat. Siobhan too, and Lauren when she could come. The three of them, when they were together, had to be told to be quite some times because they were making too much noise and were disturbing the other patients in. It was just like any other day. Siobhan wasn't in and Lauren was busy, so it was just Tanya and Hannah chatting, and joking around with Sam when he came around to check on her. Hannah felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out. She quickly replied to the text from her mum before slipping it back in.

"Is everything alright?" Tanya asked "You don't have to be somewhere, or anything?"

"No, not for another while" Hannah said leaning back in the chair "I'm getting off early today. Me and mum's collecting Alex from the train station in a while. He's got the week off so he's coming home"

"That's fantastic" Tanya replied. Her and Hannah continued to talk about whatever the conversation lead to for the next while. At first it was last weeks Coronation Street, but somehow the conversation led to Fireman Sam. No idea how it ended up there, but they both ended up giggling like little school girls.

"Ah, there you are" A tall woman with shoulder length blonde hair, wearing mum jeans and a coat appeared in front of them "Come on, Alex's train will be here in no time"

"Is that the time?" Hannah said getting up "I better be going. Oh, right. Tanya this is my mum, Kathy. Mum this is one of the patients, Tanya"

"Hi" Tanya said extending her hand to the woman. Kathy quietly shook her hand, her eyes scanning over Tanya's face. Tanya uneasily pulled her hand away once Kathy released it.

"Nice to meet you" Kathy said not taking her brown eyes off Tanya. Her head suddenly snapped to her daughter "We better be going now. Best not leave Alex waiting"

"Yeah, best not" Hannah said grabbing her coat from the back of the chair "I'll see you next time, then"

"Yeah, see you" Tanya said, smiling weakly.

"Alright, let's go" Kathy said putting a hand on her daughters back and leading her out of the ward. Kathy couldn't get the blonde woman out of her head. She knew she seen her somewhere before. It wasn't until they were nearing the lifts that it finally clicked where she had known her from "Hannah?" Hannah turned her head to the right to face her mum, spending her ponytail flying over her left shoulder "Why don't you go down and get some coffees, I just need to nip to the loo"

"You're the one who was saying we're going to be late" Hannah said as the lift doors opened.

"Just do as I say. I'll meet you down at the car" Kathy said turning on her heels as Hannah entered the lift.

"Alright" Hannah agreed, clicking the floor which housed the canteen. Kathy had no intention of going to the bathroom. She headed back to the Chemo ward. She walked back down to where she was just minutes ago to find the blonde woman flicking through a magazine.

"I knew I knew your face" Kathy said, making Tanya aware of her presence.

"Excuse me?" Tanya asked, looking at her confused.

"It's Tanya...Cross, right?" Kathy asked, crossing her arms over her body.

"Jessop, now actually" Tanya answered "What's it to you?"

"You don't remember me do you?" Kathy asked and Tanya shook her head "Well, I suppose that's understandable. It _was _almost...22 years ago" Tanya looked at her confused for a moment before the realization came to her.

"Hannah?" She questioned, staring at the woman in front of her, wide-eyed. She was 14 when found out she was pregnant. She was far too young to have a baby, and she was still all mixed up with the wrong crowd. So she gave the baby, a girl, up for a adoption, shortly after her birth on 17th April 1990. She did have second thoughts right before she'd given her up. She even caved in and named the baby Elle. But, she convinved herself it was the right thing to do. That was it. She met Kathy and David Peters once when they came in to take her. It never clicked with Tanya that Hannah. The lovely, smart girl that she had grown close to over the past almost two months was her long-lost daughter.

"Yeah" Kathy said "And you're not going to tell her"

"Why?" Tanya asked curious.

"Because she doesn't want to know" Kathy said "At least that's what she told me, anyway. Didn't want to know anything, ever" Tanya stared blankly at the woman. Hannah had told her she might want to someday. Little did she know she was actually talking to her biological mum there and then "So you just say nothing. Your treatment will be done whenever, and then you may never see her again. Goodbye, Tanya"

* * *

Tanya couldn't get over it. Hannah was Elle. She thought over it for days upon days. How could she have not known that Hannah was her daughter? She had to admit that she did find it strange how they opened up to each other so quickly since they first met. That must have been a sign. Every time Tanya thought about her, she couldn't help remembering what Kathy had told her. She thought about how well Hannah had been brought up. She was kind and beautiful. Was always nice to anyone she talked to. She was smart, she was nurse for heaven sake. The independent, strong-minded young woman was her daughter. But she didn't raise her to be like that. Kathy and David did. They were the ones she grew up calling mum and dad. Their actually children, she grew up calling them her brothers.

Tanya couldn't help but think what it would have been like if she kept Hannah. Would her life still turned out the way it had? Would she have met Max and married him? Would Hannah have grown up calling him dad, soon enough? How would she have gotten on with Lauren, Abi and Oscar? All these questions were swimming around in her head now that she knew what had happened to Elle. She had been properly raised, went on to go to Uni and have a good life. But, Kathy's words still stung every time she thought of them '_She doesn't want to __know_'. All week this has been going on, and now here she was back in the hospital for her next round of chemo.

"Hey" Hannah greeted her, startling Tanya who was deep in thought "Sorry, I'm late. A patient came like 20 minutes late to his appointment, so..."

"No, it's fine" Tanya said, giving her a weak smile.

"You alright?" Hannah asked sitting down "You seemed really deep in thought when I came"

"Yeah, I'm alright" Tanya replied before going for it "Hannah, do you ever think about your real mother?"

"I used to, when I was younger" Hannah said confused at Tanya's questioned "Why do you ask?"

"No reason" Tanya replied "Do you ever think about her now?"

"Now and again" Hannah shrugged.

"Don't you ever think 'What was she like?' 'What happened to her?' 'Did she get married?' 'Does she have any more kids?'"

"Yeah, so?" Hannah asked, shrugging her shoulders again

"So, don't you think that's enough of a reason to look for her?" Tanya asked

"No" Hannah said looking down at the ground.

"Why not?" Tanya asked "What's the harm in at least finding out her name?"

"Because she gave me up" Hannah said "She didn't want me"

"How do you know that?" Tanya asked "You hear them stories, don't you? About the young mothers who just can't provide so they have to give them up?"

"So?" Hannah shrugged again.

"So, why not go out and find her?" Tanya asked. Hannah got up from her seat.

"Why are you pushing this so much?" Hannah asked, raising her voice and putting her hands on her hips.

"Because I-" Tanya began but stopped when she realized what she about to stupidly blurt out to the young girl. Realization dawned on Hannah's face when she figured out what Tanya was going to say. She wasn't stupid "Because I'm your Mum" Hannah didn't know what to reply with. She stood there, her breathing shaky as she staring with a confused expression on her face "I was 14 and still in with a bad crowd. Before I got pregnant I was doing drugs, out to all hours of the night, sleeping around. I wouldn't have been able to cope with a baby"

"How do you know it's me?" Hannah asked, voice cracked "How do you know there isn't some other girl out there who's your real daughter?"

"Because Kathy, your Mum, came back to talk to me last week" Tanya confessed "She told me not to tell you because you didn't want to know" Hannah turned and walked out of the ward, without a word. Tears in her eyes.

* * *

**Okay, just to explain. I know it should be 'Mum and I are collecting...' at the beginning. I will do that, but you know when your just chatting to your friend, you don't really care about proper grammar most of the time. So that's just what happened there.**

**_Coming Up In The Next Chapter:_**

_Hannah confronts her parents!_

_Tanya quits her treatment!_

_and tells the girls about Elle! Will she reveal all?_


End file.
